Our Future
by Bailey Belle
Summary: This is a snippet of conversation while Killian and Emma are trapped in a tower. Emma is conveniently tied up, and can't run away when Killian brings up the topic of their future. Set in some nebulous time after season 5 ends. All the Captain Swan feels!


Emma had been avoiding his gaze for a week. Lucky for him, they were tied up by that witch Gothel, and Emma could no longer change the subject and rush off.

"So, Swan, care to tell me why you've been avoiding me?"

"You wanna have a heart to heart here, tied up in the evil witch's tower?"

Killian grinned to himself. Emma couldn't see his smirk, since her chair back was chained to his own. "Of course love! Now's the best time to chat, considering we might be turned into a flower at any moment." The witch was desperately trying to recreate a new life-giving flower before she died, and she had found some sort of spell that required the life of two tried-and-true lovers.

Emma's silence radiated through the tower room. Killian gave her time, studying the cheerful mural of lanterns rising into the night sky. Finally, Emma muttered, "I'm not avoiding you," but her clenched fists betrayed it as a lie.

Killian sighed. The murals were really quite lovely, and he could see the careful brush strokes in the sun on his left. He let the silence stretch until Emma shifted slightly in her chair. Lowering his voice, he tried again. "Emma, you haven't met my eyes in a week. You've been sick since that witch drained your magic. I know you talked to Dr. Whale. Are you..." Killian swallowed. "Are you dying, Swan?"

 _Dying._ The word seemed to echo through the tower, turning into whispers. _Liam. Milah. All dead._

The silence broke as Emma let out a choked laugh. "No. No, Killian, I'm not dying. I'm-" Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. "I'm pregnant, Killian."

 _Pregnant._ Killian's brain wrapped itself around the cold modern word, and immediately translated it to "with child". Emma. Emma was carrying his child. Joy filled his chest, mixed with bittersweet memories, an odd tinge of pride, and a bit of panic. "Emma, that's wonderful! I- We-" A quiet voice in his head noted Emma's silence and absolute stillness. "Emma, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Killian heard a small sniffle, and he desperately wished he were facing Emma. "Swan, please, talk to me. You can tell me anything."

Killian's imagination filled in all sorts of horrible scenarios as the silence stretched on. The baby wasn't his. Nope, impossible, since Emma had spent every night in their big King-sized bed, together in their house. The baby's life was in danger. Unlikely; Emma would have gone into protective mode. Emma's life was in danger because of the baby. Nope, she had just said she wasn't dying.

Finally, Emma said, in the smallest of voices, "I'm not sure I want it."

It. She couldn't even say the word "child". Oh, this was far worse than he imagined. "Why, Emma?" The silence stretched, punctuated by another sniffle. "Please, Emma, I need to know."

Killian reached out with his good hand and caressed Emma's fist with his finger tips. To his shock, Emma's hand unfurled and she threaded her fingers through his. Her small hand shook as she took a deep breath. "Killian, I... I don't know how to be a mother."

"Course you do, Swan! You're a mother to Henry."

"I wasn't Henry's mother until he was ten years old. I abandoned him when he was born. The only memories I have of raising a baby are the false memories Regina gave me when Henry and I escaped the curse and fled to New York." Emma voice rose in panic, and she paused to breathe deeply. "I just... I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a mother. And I can't bring another child into this world and abandon it later."

"Swan, you'll make a fine mother. I've seen you care for your brother Neal. You're a natural."

"Neal's not a fussy baby, and I get to leave him with my parents at the end of the day. It's different when it's your own kid." Emma's fingers loosened, and she tried to pull them away, but Killian held on tight and gave her hand a squeeze. Finally she whispered, "I just can't risk it."

Now it was Killian's turn to be silent. He struggled with the words for a moment, tried to come up with a way to express his feelings without upsetting Emma, and failed. Finally, he murmured, "I wasn't sure the first time, either."

Emma's hand froze in his own. "The first time?"

"Aye. With Milah." Killian leaned his head back to let out a sigh, and found himself bumping into the back of Emma's head. He left it there, comforted by the physical contact, and the fact that Emma wasn't pulling away from him. "Milah thought she was pregnant, so we pulled into port to find a midwife to confirm. I was so..." Killian swallowed. "I was concerned for the child's safety. We were pirates. The ship was constantly under attack." Killian sighed. "I went for a walk in the market near the docks while Milah was away, and I saw a booth selling baby rattles made of hemp." Killian laughed and squeezed Emma's hand. "When I first saw them, they absolutely terrified me. I realized I was using my worries about the child's safety was an excuse. I was scared to become more than a pirate. I was scared to become a parent."

"What did you do?" Emma whispered, turning her head in order to rest her cheek against the back of his head.

"A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. I faced down sea monsters and Black Beard. I decided I could handle a few dirty nappies and a squalling child. It would be worth it to be able to raise a family. I bought the rattle." Killian cleared his throat and tried to inject a cheerful note into his voice. "However, I wasn't destined to have that family with Milah. I went out to celebrate with my crew, and the Crocodile found us."

"Gold killed Milah. Did he know she was pregnant?"

"No. I doubt he would have spared his wife, especially if he knew she was with another man's child."

Emma's hand squeezed his own. "You never got a chance to be a father."

 _A father._ The words hit Killian in the gut as he imagined wrapping his arms around Emma and feeling their little one kicking. Gently holding a tiny bundle of flailing arms. Watching his child put the hemp rattle into its mouth. Running around the deck of the Jolly Roger, trying to keep a toddler from pulling on the wrong ropes. Henry helping teaching their child knots and sailing. David helping protect their child from the latest threat to Storybrooke. Robin encouraging Roland and the child to aim more carefully with their bows. Mary Margret organizing their first ball. Belle, pointing to the words in a book, encouraging the child on her lap to sound them out. Regina, patiently leaning down to listen to their child babble.

"Emma, please, give this child a chance. I know you're scared, and I'm quite frankly terrified, but we're not alone. We can raise this child together, and I'm sure the rest of Storybrooke will help us. Please don't run away from this."

Killian felt something wet slide through his hair, and turned his face until his cheek was against Emma's tear-stained cheek. He felt her smile a little. "So you're offering to change all the diapers?"

"I will be the best one-handed diaper changer in all the realms."

Emma laughed, then sighed. "You really think we can do this?"

Killian squeezed her hand. "This is our future, Swan. I will never stop fighting for us. Even when I'm exhausted and our child is screaming and pulling at my earring. I promise to love this child, _our_ child, no matter what happens. Even if they end up eloping with Zelena's crazy girl. I will be a little offended if they don't take to sailing though."

Killian felt Emma's cheek wrinkle in a smile. "I'm sure they'll take to the ocean just like their dad." Killian felt something wet slide down his own cheek, but that must be Swan crying again. "I love you, Killian."

"I love you, Emma." He nuzzled her face, unable to turn farther. "Now, let's get out of this tower. We have a family to plan for."


End file.
